FunkyBrownChick.com

• Blog Name: FunkyBrownChick
• Type: Lifestyle
• Level: Spicey
• Author: Twanna A Hines
• Location: New York City
• First Post: June 21, 2005
• Popularity: “On a good day, upwards of 3,000+ people visit this site. Funky Brown Chick isn’t huge. It isn’t extremely tiny either.”
• Platform: WordPress

My name is Twanna and I own Funky Brown Chick.
All rights reserved. So, please, don’t be a dick.

Guy Sez: You gotta love someone with a copyright notice like that one!

Perhaps the best introduction is FunkyBrownChick’s own words in her first post:

let’s see … this is the first entry so i should probably tell you more about myself. i’m somewhat new to new york, but i’m used to big cities. i’m black; hence, the “brown” in funky brown chick. i’m single and dating so you’ll get to read about all of the crazy stories from my 30-something love-less life. i could write more, but i’m sure we’ll come to know each other better with time. best not to rush these things.

Twanna A Hines, Funky Brown Chick – photo by Bill Wadman

Twanna maintains another site at twannahines.com – a site unlike any other I’ve seen. More than a Twitter feed, less than a blog, it’s a net-bite series of snapshots of her life. The more I read of Twanna, the more impressed I am. You don’t expect deep insights from a sexblogger, usually more noted for erotic entertainment than analysis and philosophy, but here in the Huffington Post she sticks it to Steven Levitt, author of Freakonomics. Then again, she has two degrees – a BS and an MA.

A self-described sexpot, she looks good enough to eat. Her chocolate skin has sent any number of delicious thoughts scampering through my hungry mind.

She gives good blog. Well written, entertaining, punchy. Not heavy on the explicit details, but she doesn’t pull her punches – if she is sleeping with someone, she sez so. It’s more a relationship blog than a sex blog; presumably you know what to do once you’re in bed together, you don’t need to be told who put what where and how many strokes per second.

There’s a “Best of First Year” post here. Even better, there’s a “Worst of…” post the very next day. Twanna doesn’t take herself too seriously! There’s a few broken links, due to a platform change or two from Blogger to Wordpress and one domain to another, but it’s not too hard to find the original posts. Better yet, just read the whole first year, skimming if you wish. Her posts aren’t long. Then read the second, third, fourth and fifth years! It’s all good.

If I have a criticism at all, it’s that the blog looks very “busy” on the page. There’s a lot going on, with advertising from various sources, an archive list as long as a short arm, a category list likewise, the posts themselves, and other bits and pieces all over. Then again, blogs that are solid slabs of text turn me off.

Twanna began blogging under the pseudonym Stollie (for Stolichnaya vodka) but gave that up after a while. She’s not the sort of person who works well with deception. She’s genuine, honest, upfront. You get a good flavor in an online interview at Clutch Magazine:

Best part about being FBC is that it’s me %100. Whether I’m church, with my friends or at work, I am Twanna Hines, Funky Brown Chick.

Twanna’s interest is in men. Young, sexy, exciting, often with a foreign accent. She has regular testosterone-based posts. Manly Mondays, Testicle Tuesdays and – sigh – Wanker Wednesdays.  I must admit to a certain level of fascination. Who will be the next man in her sights? Will she date him? How will it turn out?

Not just men and relationships, of course. For any single woman (or man) aiming to live in New York City, this blog is your homework. Native New Yorkers will have it in their genes, but Twanna moved to NYC from Chicago five years ago, and she has seen it all from an outside perspective. More outside than Chicago, actually – she’s lived here and there around the world and has insights and experience that put the frosting on top.

Sometimes her life reads a little like the script for a television series. Sexie in the City, maybe. She’s always got something on her plate, from heavy-duty writing workshops to interracial dating. There’s the flavor of an active metropolitan lifestyle. Twanna’s not writing for the sake of filling up blog pages – she’s taking time out from an actual life to fill us in on things interesting and thoughtful, entertaining and stimulating, fun and funky.

Which makes the titbits about her book all the more teasing. She’s working on the book of the blog, and unlike others I’ve seen, this won’t be just the pick of the website bound and gagged, this will have new material and a theme. Perhaps like Melissa Plaut’s Hack, where the Jewish Lesbian NYC night cabbie’s blog was transformed into a book that was edgier, more personal, more comprehensive, more coherent than the blog had ever been.

Looking forward to reviewing the book. In the meantime, Twanna’s blog has become one of my must-reads. Highly recommended for a smart, funny, literate woman’s view of life, the Big Apple, and the world.

–Guy Sez

Bonus video: FunkyBrownChick and Girl With a One-Track Mind talking at SXSW

Related posts:

1. “Diary of a Sex Fiend” by Abby Lee
2. Girl With a One-Track Mind

Related posts:

1. Thrill me up

Ladies and Gentlemens, I give you Echo Bazaar!

Related posts:

1. Girl With a One-Track Mind
2. Blue, she said
3. Ma, someone poemed in the corner!

photo by Lotushead

Guy sez: Flirting is the gentle art of romantic pretence. I enjoy flirting with ladies of advanced years, for example, saying to them, “Oh, if only I were twenty years younger…”. The pretence is that a romantic or sexual attachment exists, and the more unlikely the possibility, the more outrageous the flirt.

It’s pointless to flirt with your partner, for example. Fun, but not really flirting if it’s a sure thing.

The spice of flirting lies in the possibility, the thought, the fantasy that it could actually come true. Say to an old age pensioner, “I’ll be round tonight with a bunch of roses and a bottle of champagne,” and everyone knows that it’s not going to happen. If I say the same thing to a single woman closer to my age, well, you never know, we could be eating our breakfast eggs together, a rose or two sprouting from an empty magnum.

Grl sez: A good friend of mine once told me that even though he was so happy in his current relationship, he would love to go back to the flirting days. I empathised – I love to flirt! I love knowing that I’m making someone feel special. Whether you’re flirting with someone just to make them smile, or to let them know you’re interested in them, it makes me feel great

I can’t help but smile when people flirt with me (well mostly anyway!) – I love knowing that someone thinks I’m attractive! Even if it’s not going to go anywhere, it still makes me tingle when someone flirts with me

Of course there’s always a flip side…I guess one of the worst is when creepy men start flirting with you at bars *shudder*. You know there’s only one thing they want, and you don’t want to give it to them!

Far worse I think though is when people you’ve broken up with start flirting with you again. An ex of mine has recently been doing this with me and it is frustrating! Especially when she was the one who told me she’d rather be friends…

Guy sez: The beauty of unwanted flirting is that it can be gently – or not so gently – turned aside. Southern ladies are wonders at rejecting advances in the most delightful way. There must be a textbook they read in school. How to charm people away.

Make it a game if you don’t want attention. Call it anti-flirting. Turn them off in the nicest way.

Perhaps your ex, Grl, flirts with you precisely because she knows it’s going nowhere. Or maybe, she thinks there’s always the chance…

That’s the spice, the sweetness, the thrill of flirting.

Related posts:

1. “Read My Hips” by Eve Marx
2. That spot
3. “For Today” by Netherworld Dancing Toys

Related posts:

1. Ma, someone poemed in the corner!
2. Girl With a One-Track Mind

–Guy Sez

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1. Blue, she said
2. FunkyBrownChick
3. Girl With a One-Track Mind

Sister Hazel's latest

Why Sister Hazel rocks!

Everyone knows I’m a huge Hazelnut (well everyone who’s read my Hot Seat!), but I’m quite serious when say they are one of the greatest bands around. And why, you might ask, dear reader. Because they have a song for almost any occasion (well for love anyway, which let’s be honest, is what life is about!). Every time something’s happened in my love life (so not very often :p), I’ve found a Sister Hazel song that speaks to me about where I am.

Songs for hooking up:

• Hello, It’s Me (Absolutely)
• Everything Else Disappears (Absolutely)

Absolutely

Songs for being madly in love:

• Beautiful Thing (Fortress)
• Everybody (Chasing Daylight)
• In The Moment (Lift)
• Let Your Love Flow
• Mandolin Moon (Absolutely)
• One Love (Chasing Daylight)
• See Me Beautiful (Release)
• This Kind Of Love (Absolutely)
• Vacation Rain (Release)

Songs about love:

• See Me Beautiful (Release)


Fortress

• Hopeless (Chasing Daylight)
• Strange Cup Of Tea (Fortress)

Songs for breaking up:

• Tear By Tear (Absolutely) (not really about breaking up, but if I need a good cry its a good one to get me going)
• Best I’ll Ever Be (Chasing Daylight)
• Take A Bow (Release)
• Take It Back (Release)
• Shame (Absolutely)
• Where Do You Go (Absolutely)
• Truth Is (Absolutely)
• Killing Me Too (Chasing Daylight)

Chasing Daylight

Songs for when you’re starting to get over them:

• Life Got In The Way (Chasing Daylight)
• Meet Me In The Memory (Absolutely)
• Wanted It To Be (…Somewhere More Familiar)

Personal favorites of mine:
Everything Else Disappears – I love the shyness of this song, the unsureness of the singer, the potential of something amazing happening, the romance, “and we sat on your car while the light from the stars poked holes in the sky.” And the happy ending!

Let Your Love Flow – (Written by the Bellamy Brothers) What I
love about this song is that it makes love seem so natural – which it is – by likening it to natural things “Just let your love fly, like a bird on a wing, and let your love bind you, to all living things.” I also love this line “must be that season when that love light shines all around us” – I know when I’m in love it feels exactly like there’s light shining out of me, all around me, surrounding everything.

Lift

This Kind Of Love – I mostly love this one for its slow, methodic beat, making the song sound extremely simple, just like love… And the lyrics just ignite something in me – they get the feeling so right!

Best I’ll Ever Be – Oozes disappointment that it didn’t work out. I just love the bit at the end of the song, just random household noises, but they sound so poignant, still oozing disappointment…
– Grl Sez

Guy Sez: Grl put me onto Sister Hazel, and since then I’ve become nutty as well. Not sure that I’d say they were one of the best bands in the world, but yes, they rock! My own few personal favorites:

...Somewhere More Familiar

One Love – This is just a fantastic song for being in love. It sums up what it’s like to have a lover who is the real thing.

This Kind Of Love – More of the same – it’s a great song to play at a wedding.

Run for the Hills – I love this song. It’s got spinning wheels and people grabbing their lover and running for the hills as the tide rises, hard rain comes down and fire and brimstone bubbles up. We’ve all had days like that.

See Me Beautiful – I’d like to be the person others see me as, without my private doubts or vices. It’s something I strive towards, and this work is its own reward.

My personal ambition – one of many – is to find the time to attend a Sister Hazel concert with Grl, and rock along in the audience. We’ve come close a few times, missed out by a day or so in Orlando and St Louis. We’ll get there one day.
– Guy Sez

Related posts:

1. Love is the Answer – Barbra Streisand
2. “For Today” by Netherworld Dancing Toys
3. In the Hot Seat: Grlsezual of mygfsez.com

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