Handsfree love – photo by Jasmaine Mathews.

Guy Sez: I’m no stranger to conducting a romantic relationship over vast distances, what with Grl being away on the other side of the ocean – in Sausalito – but the link is going to become even more fragile in a week or three.

Grl is heading off into the world on a roaming assignment that will take her to exotic places like Oklahoma City, Washington DC, and Horton MO. It could last for months.

What’s a guy to do? There’s a limit on how many weekends I can fly away, and while it’s tempting to just gas up the ‘Stang and hit Route 66 east for my kicks, that’s a terrible strain on a guy and his auto.

Worth it. My favorite place in all the world is beside Grl, but how embarrassing is it to jump into bed and fall fast asleep, to be woken up two hours later for the long drive home?

The ever-popular nude mutual pleasure video chat session is good for relief. A bandwidth muncher, and while it’s good to hear (and see) the moaning in real time, I also get moaning later on from the landlady, who provides the supposedly unlimited wi-fi. Mrs Madrigal she’s not!

There’s only so far you can go on a phone call, and while scented love letters may be romantic, they take time. Truth to tell, Grl and I send messages via chocolate and saucey books. “Read page 43 and think of me,” she’ll scribble on the flyleaf, totally destroying the value on the second-hand market.* A recent package containing mango slices raised more than a smile.

Chatsex is cheap and easy, though best advised not to begin a session on your iPhone while coming home on the Muni. Voice of experience here. Pick your place. We might have a longer post on the ins and outs of chatsex later on, possibly in the form of some actual Grl/Guy chat in about oh, four weeks time. Amazing how an innocent chat can suddenly turn steamy. *Nibbles on Grl’s ear*, you say, and before you know it, buttons are coming loose, clothes disappear into chat-ether, hands move lower, tongues become involved, there’s some heavy thrusting action and you look up to find you’ve missed your stop and you’re down at Fisherman’s Wharf with a bus load of tourists aiming cameras at you.

Txting is always nice. So good to get a quick well-chosen txt from your lover. I<3U needs no translation.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” they always say, and it’s true enough. Something else they say is, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” That sort of thing makes you change your FaceBook status to “It’s complicated”.

We shall see. This blog might become a whole lot more interesting over the weeks and months ahead!

–Guy Sez

* Or possibly enhancing it. Don’t you just love books where the good bits are all marked?

Related posts:

1. Blue, she said
2. Girl With a One-Track Mind
3. FunkyBrownChick